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Getting Better

Well, after almost a week I’m getting better. It’s like the adderall side effects plus a terrible cold hit all at once and began repeatedly kicking me. Add in a touch of delirium and that was my weekend. So of course I’m falling a bit behind on my work. But I have a whole free weekend to play catch up. And possibly clean a bit because the house looks like a tornado hit it.

Most of my professors have been very supportive. One seems a little cranky, but I will admit fault at not carefully reading the assignments. When you have a high fever and you’re on a lot of medication things slip through the crack.

Occasionally I have trouble sleeping on the adderall, but also sometimes I sleep SUPER deep. I do love that part. I read about people with ADHD who sleep better on adderall because it quiets their mind. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD, just narcolepsy. So you’d think a good night’s sleep is easy for me, but it’s not. That could be due to my sleep apnea though, which I will be getting a CPAP machine for (hopefully soon).

All I have to say is wash your hands, stop touching your face, and invest in hand sanitizer. Don’t bother with face masks. Take care of yourself, try to avoid people if you get sick. I know it’s not always possible with the way jobs and classes work – little PTO, attendance grades, and the inability to get doctor notes to avoid the hits.

Dorian loves the paper towels and tissues I was using during my recovery…a little too much.
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So I was in Shark Biology yesterday when I started getting super hot and sweaty – a possible side effect of adderall, more prominent when combined with sertraline. I left a little early and went home to lay down. My throat starts feeling dry and scratchy. I fell asleep and must have had a total of 12 hours of sleep last night. Woke up today with a horriblly dry and sore throat. Dear lord.

So now I don’t know if I’m sick or experiencing side effects. The hot flash and sweating has stopped, no fever, a touch of fatigue though I took adderall. Chicken noodle soup soothed my throat a little bit. I’m not attending classes today – if I am sick I don’t want to spread it, and if it’s just the medication I need some time to lay down and relax. I have work to catch up on.

I just want to be healthy for a couple days in a row, not a new problem popping up every time one problem is solved.

Here is one of my specimens. Decades old.
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So I’m dealing with about a billion tests, even with insurance some of them cost an arm and a leg. Thankfully I’ve been able to cover everything thus far.

I’m diabetic, have hypertension, and now they’ve tested and proved I got hypersomnia and sleep apnea. I’ll be fitted for a CPAP machine and I’ve been placed on adderall. I’m iffy about the adderall though I admit it’s definitely waking me up.

I’m hoping tackling my weight issues will solve my other issues. But when you have no energy and you constantly eat in hopes of gaining more energy you end up in a ruthless cycle. Exhaustion that makes you barely want to move is a killer.

I’m hoping the extra energy from the medication will help me catch up and get ahead on my work and my exercise. I don’t want to lose my excitement for this semester.

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Suits, Dresses, and PJs

I feel so odd sitting, eating lunch, and looking around at the crowd at my campus. There is a small majority of students who suit up or wear dresses for classes. I feel like most are Freshman by the looks of them, a few are probably in classes with a dress code.

Then you have the slightly older students who wear casual clothing. T-shirts, jeans, what have you. And finally the ones you know are probably seniors like myself wearing essentially what amounts to PJs. What I wear during the day I don’t mind wearing to bed. It feels a bit like I’m a slob, but at the same time I think of how much work I get done instead of spending time fixing clothing, hair, makeup, and what have you.

In preschool I remember sometimes being sent off in my PJs. And then I started having to wear uniforms from Kindergarten thru high school. And now I’m back to PJs. I do enjoy my PJs, comfort helps me pay attention better rather than worrying if my skirt got caught and is now causing me to expose my undies.

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This movement is bringing back diseases, yet anti-vaxxers prefer to take huge risks just to avoid small ones. But I found a meme that illustrates my feelings on the whole thing, who ever wrote it is a genius.

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Dragon Barbie!

Heck yes.

I was a tom boy growing up, didn’t stop my mom from having me collect Barbies. But my Barbies lived with my Gargoyles (from the animated TV series) and they had routine lives and fought crime. I also had a lot of animal toys so sometimes they had a zoo and sometimes the animals were magical and talked, depended on my childhood mood. I don’t think I had dragon toys growing up, but I loved to read dragon stories.

So this combines both things I love. I was also so happy when the Barbie series started coming out with career Barbies in science, now they’re coming out in mythology. I don’t really count the mermaids because they’re still catering to a sort of “girl fantasy” and don’t seem nearly as bad ass as the Dragon Empress. Though I do love mermaids too, don’t get me wrong.

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So much work, so little time…

I’m studying for a quiz, drinking coffee, and occasionally slipping into Pokemon GO. I soooo need more focus. It’s only week 2.

I am enjoying the fact most of my classes are Marine Science, I finally feel like I belong. But at the same time I know any type of failure will kill me motivation-ally.

But as I think about failure I remember how my high school chemistry teacher ruined myself and a whole lot of other students in regards to science. She said if we couldn’t pass her course that we shouldn’t bother being in the sciences. Our first week we had to memorize the periodic table and fill out a blank periodic table. No one passed. It was a heavily weighted test. She intended to set the bar high and crush us. Getting a C in her class was a miracle.

Of course I failed. I went to summer school to make up for it. All my dreams of being a Marine Biologist were flushed down the toilet. I became belligerent towards school – I mean, why try if I can’t get into the field I wanted so badly? I was told I was a failure. I barely made it out of high school after that. I avoided college for several years.

My mother pushed me to do something, anything. So I started at community college. I had to take a science course for a liberal arts degree, and I feared it. I was working at a gas station, briefly dropped out of college and moved to Pittsburgh, PA, then moved back home and started college again while working as a cashier. I got decent grades, eventually quit my job as a cashier to be a student worker at college doing various things – tutoring, receptionist, organizer, etc.

I finally took a science course…and had fun with it. First it was biology. I was traded from the library commons to the labs and became a student lab worker – I was terrified. I was now in a science career, even if minor. I decided to take a chemistry lab…I GOT AN A. I became confidant in working in labs, and I was nailing my courses.

When I explained to my chemistry teacher what my high school chemistry teacher did, she looked at me and said that woman was crazy. Most places don’t require you to have the periodic table memorized, and there are periodic tables all over the place. All our chemistry tests had periodic tests attached. I realized I experienced gate keeping by my high school chemistry teacher – she may have thought she was doing good, but instead she was just hurting her students. I learned later from my other high school classmates that she was the same reason they didn’t pursue science careers. They figured it was way too hard if our high school chemistry teacher was pushing us and telling us not to get into a science career if we struggled with her.

As part of Twitter I also found a couple threads that make me breath a sigh of relief. One was about a woman who constantly failed or got low grades and was now a well-respected PhD. Another was about many lab personnel of all levels (up to and including PhDs) making mistakes in the lab that ranged from small to huge (and expensive). Over all, it made me feel better. Knowing people are in the same boat and that I don’t have to be perfect is a key to success. No one wants to feel alone.

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Sleep Study U_u

So I did the sleep study.

I was hooked up to so much stuff. And my anxiety flared up due to being away from home and husband. The bed was hard, I kept dreading rolling out of it. There was a rattling noise, I think because it was windy. It took forever to fall asleep. And when it felt like I finally did I was woken up at 6 AM. Ugh.

I had breakfast and tried to watch TV. It was freezing in the room. And every two hours I had to take a 20 minute nap. Half the hook ups were removed in the morning, but I still had the other half attached. And before each nap (and before bed) I had to do all these movements to calibrate the stuff, which was a little like exercising so it woke me up a little.

I left around 4 PM, and when I got home I went to bed around 7 PM…did not get up again til almost noon. I was just so exhausted. I really disliked the testing. Hopefully it finds nothing but jeez, I’m still exhausted after all the sleep after.

And I missed my cats. 😦

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I ate carbs :(

Ah! Well, it was a return to the school cafeteria and I ate some cheesy potatos. And pizza. And tots. Still trying to find time to do yoga.

I’m the only undergrad in my Marine Policy class. That’s weird, but the class seems ok.

And today I go to the sleep lab to get tested for narcolepsy. I had to miss class to attend work because of the sleep lab. But it’s ok, I’ve got a hold on math so far.

I played a little Warcraft. I’m going to miss having extra recreation time. I still have games to finish, but work and school first!

At least my Corsola loves me.
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My mind boggles over the pronunciation of Quinoa. Ah!

I always said Quin-o-ah and my cousins giggled at me and said it was Keen-wa. I’ve been saying it wrong for so long.

But then there are some that say Kee-no-ah.

So confused. Still tasty though.